Northwest Horizons

Weddings: An overrated drunk fest

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Weddings: An overrated drunk fest

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Weddings. A time for people to show off their wealth, take good pictures and get drunk, because there is free alcohol.

First let’s start off with wedding dresses. Brides spend months searching for a dress that they’ll only wear their wedding day. There are truly no other events anyone will attend where some can get away with wearing a $2,000 white ball gown. To save it for your kids is pointless, too; fashion is always changing, and trust me, puffy sleeves aren’t in season.

Cocktail hour: The time where the wedding part takes thousands of pictures to remember just how great the wedding really was or wasn’t. Also, the time everyone attending the wedding can stuff their faces with the tiny appetizers, because its 5 p.m. and where’s dinner? Or the time for those who party to start getting so drunk they won’t remember what happened, and don’t forget, whoever payed is just fueling their alcoholism.

And of course, dinner. We have all had a meal provided by a catering company a handful of times, but can we really say we have enjoyed it? The food is overly expensive and made the day before with way too much seasoning, or little to none. Buffets are chaotic, and people finish before others even get their food, and on the other hand plated food never has enough on the plate, meaning no left-over cake, one of the actual good parts of a wedding. Guest will probably only remember their dinner if they found a hair laying on top of their cold mac and cheese.

Once everyone’s tummies settles, and they’ve had their awkward conversations with their table neighbor great aunt Beth, its time for the DJ to make everyone’s ears bleed, and ‘get the party started.’ They will play the same playlist as your wedding, your cousins wedding, your best friend’s wedding, and every other event they DJ. The dance floor may be ‘hot’ listing to these unoriginal tunes but it is usually full over overly drunk people whom are grinding on some random person they found, don’t forget poor grandmas’ eyes, or any children in the room. And for the love of god if you were in a frat in college, no one wants to relive those days.

Weddings should just be a time to celebrate your new life, not a competition, not a flaunting contest, not something your ex-best friend should be invited too, it should be for the married couple, their family and current friends. Just get the best out the event and accept it’s not all it’s pent up to be.

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Weddings: An overrated drunk fest